What NOT to do at the gym

There's plenty of advice on what exercises to do at the gym. On how to hit on girls at the gym (don't). On how to lose weight. How to gain muscle.

But there's nothing on what NOT to do at the gym.

Some people just don't get gym.

This is for you.
This is the advice that really counts.


Don't walk around in the changerooms naked for no reason at all. Who on earth are you trying to impress? Especially if you're old, fat, or hairy. And most of you are old, fat AND hairy.Changerooms are for getting changed, not for staying unchanged. There's only so much shlong a guy can handle in one day.


Don't hog the treadmills. Especially if you came to gym (fully plastered with makeup) just so you could tell your girlfriends over drinks the next day that you are a "Seriousss gymmer, doll!"
If you don't sweat, you're not doing it right.


Don't drink protein shake at the gym. You have 48 hours after a workout for your body to repair your muscles. Drinking it at the gym isn't going to help you at all. You just look like a complete idiot!


STOP using Bosu Balls for everything!
Bosu balls have their uses. They make for great core workouts when coupled with squats. That doesn't mean you have to use them for every imaginable exercise.


STOP looking lovingly at yourself in the mirror!
Yes, you do need to check you're doing the exercise in form.
No, you don't need to check you're in form between sets. Your body hasn't changed since the last time you looked at yourself. It's only been 10 seconds, after all.
Look at something more interesting. The girls perhaps.


Don't ask me what I'm working out today. 
I'm just gonna answer "Heads, shoulders, knees and toes."


Don't run uber-fast on the treadmill just to show off.
Because in those 3 minutes of 18 km/h, you're asking for it. Surely you've seen the treadmill videos on YouTube? They don't put the treadmills above the swimming pool for nothing!


Don't hog the bloody equipment!
Everyone needs a chance. Especially on the treadmills and the pull-up bars.


Stop #%#%#ing staring at me!


Don't grunt. And don't drop your weights.
If I don't kill you, karma will.


Use a bloody sweat towel!
Or I'm going to come and rub my sweat off on your shirt. It's great that you're sweating at gym. That means you're putting in more effort than most people. But please, if I'm thirsty, I'll use the water fountain!

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8 Responses to “What NOT to do at the gym”

  1. Kax says:

    Lmao - Killer and good point

    "Don't walk around in the changerooms naked for no reason at all. Who on earth are you trying to impress? Especially if you're old, fat, or hairy. And most of you are old, fat AND hairy.Changerooms are for getting changed, not for staying unchanged. There's only so much shlong a guy can handle in one day."

    To add on that if I am allowed * DONT LOOK AT MY ASS WHEN I AM TAKING A SHOWER , MAKES ONE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE*

  2. Anonymous says:

    Haha! Very funny and soooo true! Just another add on: DON'T USE THE STEAM ROOMS AS A PLACE TO "TAN" NAKED...

  3. Anonymous says:

    Refrain from rubbing yourself in the shower while staring at me... FAIL!

  4. boytjie says:

    Thanks for the extra gym peeves! The above comment's one is just disturbing!

    Some others people told me:

    Pedalling very slowly on the exercise bikes while reading. [Especially during exams. Work out at gym. Study at home!]

    Agro steroid types. [They're to blame for half of these situations. Hopefully Virgin Active will install thinner floors for them to fall through soon.]

    Family outings at the pool.

    Nude-coloured swimming costumes. People think you're swimming naked. [I know. Grannies love wearing tan coloured costumes, ewww]

  5. Anonymous says:

    Lmao and i hate when i get to a machine and people leave their towels on the equipment when they're busy working out on some other machine... like they own the place

  6. Anonymous says:

    You're metabolism is at its highest in the first 30-60 minutes after a workout, so you need to get that shake in asap, especially if you're not going home after your workout and have the traffic to deal with.

  7. boytjie says:

    @Anonymous (!)
    Ya you're right, it is advised by some to drink shake during your workout - but a protein shake takes 2-8 hours to digest. If its the carbs you really want (which digest in quicker than 10 minutes), then chow a fistful of raisins just before your workout. Half a cup of raisins has the same amount of carbs as a USN fast grow 2-scoop serving!

  8. Racketlon South Africa says:

    Awesome, this blog has been long awaited. i read in agreement.

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